Irony

[ahy-ruh-nee] -noun

Definition:

a technique of indicating, as through character or plot development, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated.

Example: An eve pilot who runs a blog expressly devoted to educating other pilots in hopes that those other pilots will not repeat his mistakes, who managed to somehow completely disregard his own advice, and in doing so, loses a ship AND kills a corpmate. (wow long sentence)

Perhaps a flashback is in order...

(p00f)

Back when I was running my own C1 wormhole there was and incident and a learning experience.

I had just scanned down my high sec exit, and I had warped to it at 30km where I was sitting cloaked. While my main sat there, I was on my alt doing some logistical tasks to get ready to do a market trip to sell some gases I had mined. Out of nowhere I hear the locking sound come up and I quickly switch to my main only to find that he is being warp scrambled by another Buzzard. My Buzzard has no guns or anything on it so he is basically stuck. Using my quick thinking skills, I jump my alt into a nearby PVP rifter and warp him to my main. Once I have my alt in route, I flip back to my main and I see that things have gone from bad to much, much worse. Where I expected to see two Buzzards, I now see two Buzzards, a broadsword, and three battle cruisers (this is going to hurt). Not only is my main completely screwed, but I've just warped my alt into the fires of hell as well.

My alt lands moments before the HIC gets in range and puts the bubble up. I manage to engage the buzzard with the Rifter, but it doesn't do much good as both of my ships disintegrate in moments. Luckily I had learned a valuable lesson earlier in life (Read:Where it all began... or 'Beware the Heron of Doom' ) and I decided that when you have two pods stuck in a bubble that you need to burn them in opposite directions. Somehow I manage to get one of my pods free of the bubble and back to my POS. I lose the other.

From this engagement I was able to gain a couple of lessons learned:

*Lesson Learned: Don't loiter near a celestial. And if you really want to, move off of the zero plane or you might get decloaked while afk*

*Lesson Learned: If an offense-less Covop warp scrambles you, it's not because he is trying to kill you. It's usually because he is trying to hold you for his friends...*

*Lesson Learned: Never ever, EVER fight next to a wormhole! You never know what is waiting to kill you on the other side*

　

Fast forward to the other night...

　

I'm back in my corp's C5 wormhole. We have a number of K162's open into our system all of which I had scouted out earlier in the day. The only wormhole of intrest is another C5 that is absolutely full of Russian POS'. Somehow though, we manage to see nothing out of this wormhole for over 12 hours. Then as I am doing my rounds to check the status of these 3 K162's, I warp to this wormhole at 20, and what do I find? A Helios dropping probes. It cloaks and (presumably) warps off to scan. Next comes a buzzard. He moves about 15km off of the wormhole and cloaks up. I am in a stealth bomber so I move out to bombing range to watch events unfold. I also bring my alt over in his bomber as well, just in case. One of my corp mates is interested in the situation and asks if he can bring his drake over. I first tell him no, but when he asks again I concede on the condition that he fits a protocloak. I also warn him to sit about 30k off of the wormhole in case I start chucking bombs. He chooses to warp to 20k. It is when this corpmate arrives that things all go to hell.

The unfortunate thing about protocloaks is the 90% reduction to max velocity. Our Russian friends know this too. Moments after he lands and cloaks I see a buzzard uncloak and he uncloaks (the buzzard flew to his position cloaked and uncloaked him). The Buzzard burns to the wormhole. I throw a bomb at the wormhole hoping to hit it before he crosses the 15k to jump. He beats the bomb. I recloak. Out pops a Sleipnir and engages my corpmates Drake. As I am providing the play by play over voice comms my CEO starts calling for me to engage the Sleipnir and I know that this is probably a bad idea, but I do it anyway. Unfortunately I'm firing at the (highly EM resistant) Sleipnir using a purely EM Purifier. While we are engaging the enemy, I make sure to use my 'Keep at range 30km' button to make sure that I don't get too close. This puts me roughly 10k + 30k off of the wormhole. As I get out to that range, in jumps two Hurricanes and a Cymbal (p00p) as I am 40k away, I am not crapping my pants just yet as I am well out of warp disruptor range and those ships are almost always PVP outfitted with 220 or 425 autocannons. I should have plenty of time to turn and warp out... (not so) I somehow get locked and two-shotted from approx 35k away by 425mm ACII's. Now I use Barrage too, but even then I'd count myself pretty lucky to make two back to back hits like that at that range, but it is what it is. I find myself in my pod and I take it back to the POS and switch back to my main.

Now my corpmate's Drake is making a valiant go of it and is (somehow) not space dust yet with all of these boats on him. For whatever reason they decide to converge on him and they all fly to within 5k of him. I have two options, 1 warp away and leave him to die, or 2 go for firey vengence. I choose firey vengance. I call a heads up to my corpmate and I left a bomb rip and warp back to the POS. about 20 seconds later, he limps back to the POS in his pod.

　

What has two thumbs and is now leading the corp KB by points for getting the final blow on a corpmate's Drake?.... >This guy<

Oh well, I called it a mercy killing, we laughed and moved on.

　

So, back to the matter at hand...

　

*Lesson Learned??? Never ever, EVER fight next to a wormhole! You never know what is waiting to kill you on the other side*

　

\o

　

Fly safe